Monday, January 30, 2012

Diet and a whole shitload of hatred for MONDAY.

I feel like I'm dying of hunger, is that normal? Every time I see doughnuts or chocolate cake I want to spit at it and throw it against the wall, just so that I'm not the only one suffering from sugar withdrawals.  Does that make me selfish? Maybe, but hey you're not the psychologically unbalanced, uber-emotional me and right now I don't give a damn about what others think of me.  I wish I could take a picture of the refrigerator at this very moment(Whatever, I'll post it later...) but let me tell you, it's filled with cupcakes, chocolate cake and flan... oh and lots of bottles of wine.  I know, this is totally idiotic from my part, especially with the whole "diet torture" hovering around my consciousness but it was the boyfriend's birthday, and he celebrated it ALL WEEKEND... what the fuck do you want me to do?

Anyway, who in the right mind orders someone to drink so much water? I feel like drinking 16 cups of water is excessive, I don't breathe underwater you know, I might be close to looking like a gigantic blue-fin tuna but no need to rub it in my face.  So diet coach... here is a "don't fuck with me" middle finger ok? I'm actually drinking 10 cups of water, its a little bit more balanced and I don't feel like traitor to this healthy expensive diet plan that I'm paying or that the french is going to chop my head like Mary Antoinette.

Did I also mention that is MONDAY? The worse day of all days of everything in the world?  Fine, that right there doesn't make any sense but you get the idea, no need to explain my hatred. Example of my hatred:


I know, the sun wearing sunglasses? Maybe it hates itself.

I'm not sure that pepper spray and lightning is enough to describe how much  I loathe this day, its the most dreadful thing ever, like drowning in a sea of shitty Teletubbies while the assholely pretentious characters from Glee sing gibberish while you die.

Plus, lighting doesn't destroy everything, I mean... I did watch that movie POWDER and it said that you can have awesome powers if you were struck by lightning, you can probably FLY and shoot stars out of your fingers.  Lets just pretend that Monday's kryptonite is lighting ok? Oh and Pepper Spray, but I'll probably hire a police guy to do that for me, but that only happens when you camp in a park for way too long. Plus, I doubt that Monday is part of the 99%, I think it actually belongs to the 0.01 percent of  "Go fuck yourself". Ahh... rant over. :)

I gotta go but I'll keep updating this as much as possible.  I gotta keep "working".  Later gators.

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